New Job: Staying or Going?

19 02 2010

I have had this new teaching job for about a month now. I didn’t really count this past month because I haven’t had to deal with children yet as they were on vacation. Starting Sunday, I go into my classrooms and put on the teacher’s glasses.

I am quite apprehensive about the experience. Last two times I stepped into a classroom, I quit, once on the same day and once by the end of the week. My therapist told me my life goal for now is to finish my contract term under any conditions. I can’t quit this time, most of all because I already see myself as a quitter and have finally realized that the cut and run approach I have resorted to so far has only hurt me. I never thought I would say this, but I actually regret quitting the job before this one.

The school is not fancy, possibly below average, but I am following the advice of a dear friend to get through this: Look at it as a job, not a career. So, a job provides income and all I need to do is get the job done. I don’t need to perform superbly or even perfect it. It’s thoughts like these that get me bogged down and off track.  I need to stay away from be-all end-all grand thoughts so that things stay in perspective.

The questions on my mind are: Will I persevere and stay, no matter how bad or demotivating things get? Will I prove myself strong/capable enough? Can I hold down a job?

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