My Clever Mind Sat Me Down

27 04 2011

I start off by writing my thoughts and then somehow branch off to find an answer to a problem in my mind’s forefront. As if by writing it out and consciously choosing a solution, the problem is thus resolved. As if! How many times have I done that to find absolutely no change?

I think and plan and analyze and fret. I worry and remember and wonder and interpret. I rephrase and try to capture exact words to keep certain states of mind or certain expressions uttered by other people that gave me joy. I search and evaluate (euphemism for judge) what I find. I am a mind, a brain. A dear friend once told me, “Your brain is too big! I can’t keep up with you! I have a small brain.” I fell on the floor with laughter. I found that so silly and hilarious. Later, though, my rational mind slowly sat me down and told me that my brain was really too big.

“But a big brain is a good thing, no, a blessing, no?”

“How’s so?”

“Well, it means more thinking capacity, eventually correctness and even possibly genius! If not genius, just accuracy.”

“In a lab? On an exam?”

“In life.”

“What kind of life?”

“Everyday life.”

“Is that how you live your everyday life? Through me?”

“Yes. It’s the best and the only way to go.”

“What about the other parts?”

“What are you talking about? Make some sense.”

“I don’t know. I don’t really care. All I know is that I am too tired. You have exhausted me and I don’t feel like working any more, ever ever again. I am one hell of an overworked mind, you know!”

“What do you mean you don’t feel like working ever again? How am I supposed to function? Conduct my life? Make my decisions – good, sound logical decisions if you don’t work? Get off your ass and stop being lazy. Brush off that dust and get going. There’s a complicated, meaning-of-life question issue I want you to resolve for me! Hurry up! I’ll send you some coffee to give you a jump start.”

“I need a jump-stop. That’s what I need,” mumbled the mind to itself, in tears.




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